guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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