Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
