i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
