Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
