theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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