you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
