i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
