Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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