so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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