3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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