I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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