told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
