you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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