is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
