She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
