i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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