They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
