she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
do nipples grow back?
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