she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
