Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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