I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
