who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
