My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
