Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
