You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
