A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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