Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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