dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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