I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
