the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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