therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
