Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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