i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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