In the future we'll all be gay
Barsexuality is the new black.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize