just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
