All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
