Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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