Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
