Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
40s are totally the cure
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The power of my boobs compel you
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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