wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
