So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
