I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
