Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
