Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
