i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
