I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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