chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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