i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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