i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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