I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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