He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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