i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
