I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want her autograph on my taint
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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