Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
