Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize