yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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