p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm really busy with my period
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