we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This is my gift to your gina
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
