What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just high enough for therapy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize