Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it penis luge time yet?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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