You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
home. puking in laundry basket.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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