Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
